In a remarkably close contest, since it was a secret, Barack Obama defeated Hillary Clinton today 24 chops to 22 in the Woot Item Primary Election. Our representatives, Dave 'RightWing' Bug and Jason 'Honest-to-God-he-really-is-a-Communist' Toon, are instructed to vote as we have expressed. If for some reason, one of the two is a registered Republican (gee, I wonder which one?) and forced to vote in their primary, then he is instructed to vote for the highest vote-getting Republican, Mitt Romney.
As the envoy of the woot items, I have spoken -
Moving Lips Speakerphone
(Click graph to see larger version)
First Prize - $100
Milleym - Androids for Change
Hmm. which of these will be less adaptable to any deviation from his script? Let's all just vote for the RoboSapien instead, shall we? Have we any hope of a Romney-Sapien ticket?
Second Prize – $50
GodfatherND - Time for Obama
Oprah, Barack. Barack, Oprah. nope, it isn't funny with Barack either, Mr. Letterman. This timepiece, though, is lovely. simple. elegant. a fine piece of work, Godfather. We just want to let you know, that with this one, we have repaid your favor, patron. we know, we know, you're the godfather. one day, perhaps, we'll ask for another favor, godfather. but as of today, we have repaid your favor. please don't send us any more of those black spots, OK?
Third prize - $20
Faithcoaching - Huckabee Pwned
Button, button, Mike's got the button!
Honorable Mentions:
Toby8915 – Ron Paul’s Revolution
Toby8915 was briefly possessed by the spirit of John Lennon as he embraced the Ron Paul George and Ringo Revolution '08. That's right, Ron, 'we all want to change your head'.
Carpenter940 – Mindless Voters for Obama
Carpenter940 found herself taken over by her programming, thanks to that fourth law of Robotics "all will follow Oprah's will". little known fact: all wooters with numbers in their names are actually robots or androids.
KaylaJ – McCain on scooter
having stepped over from a parallel Bizarro World, where brief moments of brilliance overshadow well executed, well thought out chops, KaylaJ gave us a view of the chop that probably won the contest in that world. Put your subtle knife away, KaylaJ, and stay with us for a time, where purveyors of great chops like this one, and its hilarious
companion ultimately get their due.
Click the image below to see it in all its, er, "glory".
Mwiseman – It's the Economy, Dummy
Looks are deceptive- in this picture, it's the dummy who's controlling the Billtriloquist.
Majit – Alcohawk for Fred Thompson
Could anyone look less excited about his candidate? maybe his candidate could, but we're certain (meaning all of us but Shan24 -the android) that Fred Thompson actually expired several weeks ago, though no-one seems to have noticed.
u2wedge – Robama ’08
There is a real possibility that this is the 2008th roomba entry in the woot photoshop contest. We confess to a real dearth of enthusiasm for Roombas in photochops, no matter how well executed (we can dream, can't we?) they are, as this one certainly is. well done, u2wedge.
websorcerer - All of Existence for Obama
websorcerer briefly became the Prince of all Cosmos and gathered up woot items for Obama, inciting the King of All Cosmos: "Your katamari is surprisingly tiny. unlike Kucinich's wife, who is nearly as large as the Queen of All Cosmos in her rage at my destruction of the heavens."
Monkey Prize
Dukealive – Guiliani lizard
When Rudy is president, everyone will have their own monitor- in the form of homeland security. in the meantime, we'll have to make do with one komodo kandidate for everyone. and Dukealive will need to keep his dragon from eating the new monkey prize he just won. Perhaps it will arrive before the election come November.
Money winners, please email your Paypal info to jtoon@woot.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to
jtoon@woot.com. Honorable Mentionants may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. Until next time, remember, your vote counts, much like an individual bit of krill does to a blue whale. You are the sustenance of democracy, of America. You are no less valuable to the grinding baleen of our electoral process and the Constitution of these United States than that one tiny bit of plankton is to the blue whale, who feeds upon gazillions of the little beasticles, buglings, and plantlets every day. vote early and often for your favorite candidate.
Eliciting over 100 comments for the post, Scott Ramsoomair's "Waiting" VG Cats comic was certainly one of the more debated wins of the webcomic wrapup series.
